Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, (yes, I spelled it right), Happy Channukah, and all that shit. So, I was looking at a video game website just now, reading people's different Christmas stories about getting video games and all that shit, when I can across an article about the new Call of Duty game, Modern Warfare 2. These dumb mother fucking coalition assholes think that playing these games means that you will eventually shoot up a fucking school. Any asshole can tell you that by playing a fucking video game is not going to make you kill actual people. That is just retarded. Did fucking Hitler play Mortal Kombat? Did Stalin play Call of Duty? No you dumb shit, people were fucking crazy before you could play a violent video game, watch porno, or watch some other shit people find offensive. Fuck you. Know what I find offensive? Fucking kids. We all have to make sure the kids are alright. How about parents make sure there kids are alright and not watching Showtime porno or violent shit. If I want to kill Nazi's or zombies in a video game, I should be able to. Fucking retards, and Happy Holidays.

New Jersey is Awesome

I'm wondering if girls actually like these types of fellas' that are on this gem of a show called the Jersey Shore. It's funny as fuck, I get that. The Situation, the fucking hair and gel, I get that. But these moron's are beating the shit out of the floor at the club to start the fist pump. Almost like he Ulimate Warrior used to do when he ran down to the ring, then get his strength from beating the shit out of the ropes. I'm just wondering, because I am dumbfounded by this shit. Don't get me wrong, I'm all down to go tanning in a tanning bed with just a thong on and shit. I have had my eyebrows waxed and my nails manicured a few times. But, those were for occasions I thought called for it. Obviously, no event calls for it. I'm just a bit retarded. I don't think I'm jealous, but Jesus Christ, what the fuck goes on in peoples dick filled heads. I don't know. I just hope someone from this show dies of AIDS in the next six to twelve months. That would be kind of cute. Thats mean, I meant complications from the AIDS virus.

Trees are not really trees

Sooo, what makes the connotation for a tree, and actual tree. It is only a tree by name. Humans gave it that name. It history was not as is, a tree might have been called a car, or a lamp. What I'm trying to say is, how can you really know if anything we know is true? Sure, you have science, religion, and all this bullshit. But how can you be sure? I mean, humans invented numbers. Not necessarily the quantities that number quantify, but the connotation of a the actual written amalgam of numbers. So, a tree to once species of intelligent life is a frog to another. Some moron decided a tree looked like a tree, so called it a tree. I also wonder how a computer works. It's some crazy ass fucked up shit, but they work. Yea, right click that shit, double click and paste that. Times new roman, fuck out of here. So, in another universe, and computer could be connotated as a tree, and a tree a computer. And Obama a good president.

Ice Cream

So, I eat ice pops and fudge bars in a certain way. I use my tongue as I lick the shit out of it. As I put my lips around said pop, I throw some tongue action in there. I feel as though you must to get the full flavor. It's almost like you are cheating yourself out of the icy goodness that is (insert favorite ice pop here) Be in a fudge bar, and Great White, one of the classics, a Bubble Gum Swirl. The Great White was always fun. It's shaped like a shark, with the nose pointed up. So, as I would lick it, it would continue to curve up, and thin out. Almost like a wiener. But, without the tongue, it would just be another shitty ice pop. The Bubble Gum Swirl, although tasty in its own right, did not have the formation of the Great White. I also eat regular ice cream like that, but, being ice cream, the evidence is not as clear as when I eat ice. If I was a giving woman, I'm sure men would be lining up around the block for my services, if you catch what I'm throwing. I'm going to try and post some pictures of these ice creams, and the effects my tongue has on the shape. Now I must clean up the Dr. Pepper I spilled all over the fucking floor. Night

My Intestines from the Point of View of My Mouth.

Yeaaa, I have 6 followers. Anyway, I think today can be chalked up to me being mildly retarded. I went to bed, but before that, I decided it was a good idea to have two Oreo flavored Pop Tarts with milk. Then, why not wake up and have an ice coffee and a bagel with egg, cheese, salt, pepper, and ketchup. Then, take a bit of a break, ya know, cause I'm at work and all. Then, lets spend a few dollars on a roast beef sandwich on a roll with Peter Luger's sauce, cheese, and chocolate chip cookie, and, yes, and Dr Pepper, or DP for us in the know. Well, my ass was like the fountain of youth all day. Someone could have thrown some quarters into the toilet bowl and made enough wishes to get them through the next six days of birth. I feel a tad better now, although my ass is a bit chapped, and not in the, "boy, I really hate Republicans, they chap my ass". No, the "boy, I wish I had some kind of ointment, cause my ass is real chapped", kind of chapped.